15 Ways to Annoy
by 0Kurda-Smahlt0
Summary: Have you ever wanted to annoy Larten Crepsley? How about Mr. Tall? Well, read this to find ways on how to annoy the Darren Shan characters! **More characters! Not just Larten and Mr. Tall!**
1. Chapter 1  Gannen Harst

15 Ways to Annoy Gannen Harst

1. Ask him who is his parents. (Or who is his family.)

2. Tell him: "The vampires and Vampaneze made peace, and the vampires invited you and Steve to Vampire Mountain for *Insert reason here*."

3. When he's sleeping, paint his nails neon pink. (And make sure it's long-lasting and hard to get off.)

4. Replace his long sword with a short one. And make the handle of the short one look the same as the long one so he doesn't know the difference until he uses it in battle.

5. Ask him if he's emo/Goth.

6. Say that he has the best job ever: Guarding Steve.

7. When ever he's around you, start singing "Poker Face".

8. Walk up to him and say: "You got pwnd by a cripple."

9. Ask him how Evanna was as a mother.

10. Ask him: "How emotionally painful was it to stab your own brother?"

11. Tell him that Vancha is so ashamed of him, that he won't even say him name.

12. If he's really grumpy, ask for a high-five or a fist-pound.

13. Tell him that the vampires would agree for peace only if he smiles.

14. Say that he would be good friends with Mika Ver Leth.

15. If he's not annoyed by now, you're probably doing it wrong.


	2. Chapter 2  Kurda Smahlt

15 Ways to Annoy Kurda Smahlt:

1. Ask him why he's in the Lake of Souls.

2. Call him a pedo.

3. Tell all the Gavner-fangirls where Kurda is.

4. When Kurda screams for help, stare at him without speaking.

5. Lock Gavner, Arra and Kurda in a room and give Gavner a knife.

6. Tape the whole thing.

7. Buy him pink boxers with yellow elephants.

8. Ask him why he didn't kill Darren.

9. When he doesn't answer, repeat step 2.

10. Draw all over his maps.

11. Cut his hair short when he's sleeping.

12. Put lots of spiders in his coffin.

13. Buy him a Dora the Explorer backpack with the map on it and tell him to keep his maps in there.

14. Dye his hair green like Vancha, then blame it on Arra. (May annoy Arra and Vancha)

15. Dye all his blue clothes pink.


	3. Chapter 3  Vancha March

15 Ways to Annoy Vancha March

1. Take all of his green hair dye and replace it with red hair dye.

2. Dull the edges of his shruikens and try to make him not know until he uses them.

3. Dye all of his purple animal hides yellow.

4. Ask where Gannen is.

5. When he goes out into the sun, hide all of his clothes.

6. Call him a m*therfucker.

7. Run around Vampire Mountain wearing purple clothing and a green hat while throwing movie disks.

8. Try to look exactly like Gannen and follow him around all day.

9. Ask him who his real parents are.

10. When he says he doesn't know, tell him that they got rid of him because he's ugly.

11. When he tries to beat the crap out of you, tell Vancha that Gannen said he couldn't hurt you.

12. Ask him why he joined the vampaneze.

13. Ask how many people he killed when he was vampaneze

14. Tell him that his kids are going to be really ugly because of Evanna.

15. Ask why he dyes his hair.


	4. Chapter 4  Larten Crepsley

15 Ways to Annoy

1. Try to say the most "couldn'ts", "it's", "cant's" and ect. when you're talking to him.

2. Dress like a pirate and talk like Spits.

3. Say that it's his fault that Vur died.

4. Replace his flute with a cheap plastic flute.

5. Tell all the Steve-fans (Or Murlough-fans) where he is.

6. Get rid of his coffin and replace it with the cheapest excuse of a coffin you can find.

7. When he's performing, halfway though, stand up and scream: "THAT'S THE MAN WHO STOLE FROM THE EXOTIC PET STORE!"

8. Ask him why he blooded Darren.

9. If he says: "It was destiny", respond with: "That's just an excuse to hide your pedophile side."

10. Dye his cape bright purple.

11. Ask him how his "cruise" to Greenland was.

12. Cut off his crop of hair.

13. Ask him why he quit the General position.

14. Say that his choice of hair dye colour looks gay.

15. Ask him what Murlough's guts felt like.


	5. Chapter 5  Gavner Purl

15 Ways to Annoy Gavner Purl:

1. Buy him Breath Right.

2. Say that he probably got a boner when he found out that he had to share a coffin with Larten.

3. Tell him to hide/get rid of Kurda's knives.

4. (If he doesn't get rid of them) When he gets stabbed by Kurda, run up to him and say "I TOLD YOU SO!"

5. Tell him that you love/hate the name Liz, then ask his opinion on the name.

6. Invite him to a place where there's lots of people doing Kurda cosplay.

7. Sing this to him. (See description)

8. Show him some Gavner x _ pictures/fan fiction.

9. Rub under his eyes.

10. When he asks what your doing, say that you're trying to get the make-up from under his eyes.

11. Tell him that he and Larten are being hunted by humans.

12. Walk around Vampire Mountain with black eyeliner under your eyes and wheeze/breath heavy.

13. Challenge him to a Snore-Off. (May make him happy)

14. Introduce him to Willem Dafoe.

15. Get the both of them to watch the Cirque Du Freak movie.


	6. Chapter 6  Mr Tall

15 Ways to Annoy

1. Replace his shoes with size six shoes (Or flip-flops)

2. Ask him why his eyes are so dark.

3. If he doesn't respond, say in a whisper: "Probably because you're stoned all the time."

4. When he's not in his trailer, sneek in there and ruin the soviners that he'd be working on.

5. Say that he's suicidal.

6. Wash all of his clothes in BOILING water.

7. (**SPOILERS**) Keep on reminding him aobut how R.V. got away with Shancus.

8. Every time he walks by, scream this to the person next to you when you're both eating food: "EAT YOUR VEGTABLES SO YOU CAN GROW BIG AND TALL."

9. Ask him what he sleeps on.

10. If he doesn't answer, buy him a king-sized bed.

11. Ask him "If Evanna can bear a child, does that mean you can get pregnant too?"

12. Tell him that he would date his sister if he was desprate.

13. Ask him to play a game of Limbo with you.

14. Bring him a wolf and tell that it's his long-lost brother.

15. Ask him if he is realated to Hagrid.


End file.
